Pirate Parenting, Yar!

If there is one thing that is hot right now, it is pirates. Not the stealing, murdering, vile ones that are the true pirate, but the fun, talk kind of funny but still look good one in the movies ones. And no parent would turn down the chance to raise their kid to be the greatest pirate ever. Provided they don’t break any laws and pretty much just walk around in costume and talk like a pirate.

For the talking part, please remember that Sept 19th every year is the official Talk Like a Pirate Day all over the world. Rejoice in the complexities of the pirate language which has such sayings as “scruvy bilge rat”, “grog” and “land lubber.” Grog being another word for milk or juice of course.

The next thing you need is a guide on Pirate Parenting.

If you’re like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates but just don’t know how. In “Guide to Pirate Parenting,” Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers. In Guide to Pirate Parenting you’ll learn: . Ten benefits of raising a pirate . At what age your child should be able to remove a bottle cap by taking out his glass eye and using his eye socket as an opener . Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie . How to prevent sogging the quartermaster . The best place to maroon your disobedient child . How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child’s hair . The difference between plundering and pillaging . How to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner . When to smack your teenager in the side of the head with an oar Each information-packed section ends with “Your pirate’s progress,” a short quiz that shows whether your child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones.

With this book and an observance of talk like a pirate day, you too can be proud of your little pirates.

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